🌪Anxiety🌪

Ever since my father-in-law passed away I have been having trouble sleeping or doing anything really. I try to keep my mind busy but no matter what I do all I can see is his last breath and his big blue eyes. I see his face every where. I wake up almost every night in a pool of sweat from having nightmares and anxiety. It has been a little over two weeks now. It has been a very long two weeks.

It was a very traumatic experience one that my husband and I was not ready for. I know no one is ever ready for something like that. I have had anxiety about death since I was about 9 years old.

This man meant a lot to me. He took me into his home when I had no where to go. I was pregnant with his son's child and I was only 18. I am so thankful for this man I call my father-in-law. He was more of a father to me than my own father was. He was a very good man. A strong and healthy man. He loved his four children and all his family with all his heart. He was always there no matter what and without judgement. He was a man of honor. I loved the way he loved and took care of his wife, mother and family. He was a truly good man with a kind loving and caring soul.

I can't believe its true even though I seen it with my own eyes. I never thought he would die, even though I know we are all going to die. I just never thought about him dying. He was so healthy and he lived a healthy happy life. He was 82. He jogged up until his late 70ties. He always kept busy. He loved blueberries and he grew his own. He had no bad health problems until cancer came into his life. CANCER took him from everyone that loves him. CANCER SUCKS!

Just trying to understand and put my anxiety to rest! Anxiety seems to always get the best of me. I know without a doubt he is up in heaven with GOD and feeling no pain at all. So, Dad just know that we love and miss you dearly and thank you for everything.